People like ME.

Kudos to me for working out again. Apparently, I need to.

Anorexic-Aerobic-Instructor-Officemate (I'll call her AA for short) of mine noticed my highlighted calendar above my desk. Every day, I highlight with a bright pink marker and X out the days I work out. She made a comment about how she teaches at HER gym several nights a weekand often will teach an hour class, then attend another hour of class, then do some extra weights, spending several hours in the gym.

I thought to myself, "hmmm, this may be why you look like a 12-year old boy."

She said she's been wondering how the student gym ranks against her $50/month membership gym, and I told her I love it. She then mentioned she's been wanting to try one of the classes at my gym, and asked for directions.

I told her: "Up the hill, the big building by the basketball courts. You can't miss it!"

Actually, it's up the hill, quarter of a mile to the right, 6 buildings back, down 2 hallways and up stairs and around the back corner. Not so easy to find but I was secretly hoping she would get lost.

So after my statistics class & 7 text messages to C, we met up for our weekly Tues/Thursday gym & gossip fest ritual. We secluded ourselves in a corner and began plotting a fun poker/BBQ night for this weekend while gabbing about our sex lives & other fun things. I peer around the corner and see a short stick of pure muscle with two bright red pigtails sticking up on top of her head. AA. All in C & my's personal space and favorite gym class. Grrrrr. But I figured, hey, this could be good, she's an INSTRUCTOR for Pete's sake, maybe she'll give me some pointers and it will be fun.

She was psycho.

She is RIPPED. Jennifer Garner's shoulders have nothing on this girl. Every muscle is clearly defined on her body, and she has no waist definition due to her protruding obliques. She weighs MAYBE 110 pounds, and has 12% body fat. On a woman, that's rare. She has no boobs. Nada. So, we're all laying on our sides, legs extended, on leg crossed over the other for inner leg lifts. Lift, lift, lift. AA walks over to me and pushes my step closer and places my leg on it.

"Here," she whispers, "this will help!"
"Thanks!" I said, happy for the help with my form.

After the exercise, she walks over to me and asks how it helped. Fine, I said. I actually didn't notice much difference but wanted to be polite.

"Good," she said. "It helps the form on people with wide frames such as yourself."


Wait a minute. Wide frame? I'm not a "big girl." I DO, however, have strong, substantial hips definitely made for baby bearing. With a clearly defined waist and chest. Her comment was inappropriate, deliberately hurtful, and just plain RUDE.

She told me once she didn'tunderstand the delicate protocols of Southern Etiquette. She also wondered why she didn't have any girlfriends. There's your reason right there, AA. Where I went to all my girlfriends last night & today and shared the story, and they were all appropriately horrified while we giggled at her rudeness & little-boy-figure, she went home alone, to her old-man husband & no friends.

MuWahahahahah!!!!!